Today, focus is upon a believer’s recovery from harsh parenting they endured during childhood. It is correct to teach small children that their disobedience, disrespect, and rejection of parental authority imposes hardship and shame upon their own caretakers and protectors. Even so, parents may not rely only upon violence in the home to establish honor, order, and respect within their little ones. Parenting techniques of denying privileges and those using physical punishment both should be avoided when not properly balanced with demonstrations of acceptable responses, explanations, guidance, and step-by-step instruction. Thus, rightly understood, judgment of ones parents is safely done only as a prerogative of GOD: A child may not judge their parent as worthy of heaven or not either on the basis of bad treatment (spanking), or good treatment (that may in fact be no more to the child than bribes, influence, license, or inordinate affection). Where children maliciously accuse and condemn their own parents, their sin actually is against GOD, and not against their caretakers. When looking back, many are confused and disappointed because their prayers—that the character and nature of their parents or others be changed, or that they be rescued and saved from difficult situations—did not seem to be heard and answered. Such may fail to discern and recognize that the response of GOD, instead, was to lend them greater determination, patience, resilience, and strength to endure. In the plan of GOD, babies and minor children are to develop within a fixed and stable family structure that has some flexibility, yet, perseveres in maintaining specific meanings, order and values for various attitudes, behaviors, and conduct. Before small children master using adult logic and rational thinking, physical punishment to admonish and warn them may be needed for their nourishment and protection, and are not the same as beating and striking them that merely display anger, displeasure, frustration, and hatred. More than this, cursing, threats and verbal abuse in no way express the care and concern of GOD as revealed by Jesus suffering and dying upon the cross. A writer at “Yahoo! Answers” using the ID “Cassandra Mills” (Level 2 with 462 points, a member since March 28, 2012) posted the following:
Fundamentalist Christian book that teaches to "beat the bitter root out of your child"?
Ok so here's the deal. I had a pretty bizarre childhood, my parents were super, super strict fundamentalist Christians (I have nothing at all against Christianity btw--just the craziness involved in fundamentalism) and abusive to an extent. I'd rather post this somewhere else besides yahoo, but I'm hoping a non crazy person will read this and be able to help me :-) Basically I'm just trying to piece some parts of my childhood together and see what exactly my parents were believing and what books they were reading (they deny stuff like this so I can't ask them)
Anyway, this didn't happen to me, but to my sister. She said that at some point (she was probably around 9-10) she was sort of rebellious (probably just spirited like any kid) and my mom just spanked her for a long time insisting on getting "the bitter root out of her", which she (my mom) thought was the root cause of my sister's "rebellion". I'm pretty sure she didn't come up with that phrase/idea on her own and I'm almost sure I read an article about some Christian parenting book that taught this??? So if you know please let me know!
Another phrase I remember from one of her books was "you're not disciplining your child, you're discipling your child" So if you know what book that's from please let me know too. Again, I just really want to know what crazy things they were filling their heads with; maybe it will help me understand why they acted like they did.
THE GOLDEN ARROW: Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. (Hebrews 12: 1-11, KJV)
THE DOUBLE DAGGER: Discipline and The Cross?
(06/16/2016); GOD’s Answer to Injustice? (04/28/2016); The Forms of Prophecy? (04/26/2016); Divine Love Seen As Hate? (01/29/2015); Comfort? (09/06/2014); We Become Comforters? (07/19/2014); Inseparables? (07/15/2014); On Christians Being Inclusive? (07/16/2014)
(06/16/2016); GOD’s Answer to Injustice? (04/28/2016); The Forms of Prophecy? (04/26/2016); Divine Love Seen As Hate? (01/29/2015); Comfort? (09/06/2014); We Become Comforters? (07/19/2014); Inseparables? (07/15/2014); On Christians Being Inclusive? (07/16/2014)
“Cassandra”, for Christian believers, comfort is an aspect of prophecy, and is received through operations of the Holy Spirit. Thus, the comfort provided by GOD to those who have endured abuse and neglect in their childhood has been experienced by many mature Christian believers as (1) our dying in Christ upon the cross, (2) arriving at ones own adult perspective, (3) ability to correctly discern and recognize spiritual errors in the actions and beliefs demonstrated by others, (4) realization of the multiple instances where the active presence of GOD has been part of their own experience, and (5) the shift from self-centered expressions of anger, bitterness, or regret to displaying balance, insight, maturity, and soundness of spirit.
The goal of the Christian believer is not to forget or ignore affliction and hardships they may have suffered. More than they desire “get back,” “pay back” and revenge, believers should want to be free of anger, fear, grudges, and hate; and this is accomplished by responding to forgiveness and love as spirit aspects of divine person. Christian believers become “born again” through water baptism (death and burial of ones inborn spirit, rebirth from divine DNA, so to speak); and receive deposits of spirit substance from the makeup of divinity such as faith, holiness, joy, longsuffering, meekness, wisdom and wrath against sin. Even so, all believers also must “grow up again” meeting the same life challenges as others living upon the earth. Being a “new creation” from Christ, the disciples and followers of Jesus must acquire sacred knowledge and continue in fellowship with other believers to establish godly living routines that maintain sacred practices (we say, sacraments).
There is far more that should be carefully said, thoughtfully examined, and spiritually understood. (For example, it is written: But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (Matthew 9: 13, King James Version (KJV) ). At first, minor children are established in covenant with exalted divinity through their obedience, respect, and reverence of their caretakers and parents (not their own affection and fondness). Thus, circumcision and divine covenant are to be understood as a “life condition” that a child may be born into like poverty, royalty, or wealth. Where parents use spanking and punishment to train their children they must do so understanding that there must be balance and restraint. In the same way an edible cake can not be made using only the bitter ingredient of flour, the single ingredient of butter, or only the overwhelming sweetness of sugar, in training a child, correction is more important than punishment; and after a certain point in the child’s growth punishment is not to be used at all.) Even so, I am sure this fragment will be useful. Be it unto you according to your faith.
THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC
Washington, DC
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