(01/05/2016) On Controlling Lust

A response to a teenager’s question on human sexuality is featured, today.  While the council shared is from a Christian to an Islamic believer, the substance provided pertains to life for all.  More often than not, the confusion in our lives is not coming from our Creator; yet, there is no “easy way out.”  Given their duty as life companions entrusted with each other’s secrets, parents ought not expose one another to the censure of their children; and so they may not always speak freely to their own children regarding the common challenges, errors, and shortcomings from their younger days.  Just as we are careful to select food and drink to nourish our bodies, we must be careful selecting ideas and relationships to nourish our feelings and thoughts.  Many Christian believers have paid dearly for life lessons, and to arrive at the same points of truth shared among Muslims by first attending “the school of hard knocks.”  Because they continued to be immature, were stubborn, and lacked correct knowledge, they repeated basic mistakes in their attitudes and their sexual behavior for many years before being recovered from error through the operations of GOD.  Where a mother uses drugs during pregnancy, her child may be born addicted.  Similarly, where either of the parents practice fornication, their child may be born spiritually defiled and unclean.  While we are young we must be encouraged to understand that—just as ability to recite passages from the holy writings come only through practice that may seem dull, monotonous, and tedious—self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control also come only through deliberate and painstaking practice.  Consider the following Bible verses, and the discussion below: 

Proverbs 16:  32, King James Version (KJV):  32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. 

Proverbs 25:  28, KJV:  28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. 

Mark 10:  6-8, KJV:  6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.  7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;  8 And they twain shall be one flesh:  so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Micah 6:  8, KJV:  8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

The young writer at “Yahoo! Answers” posted the following:


Ramadan: How do I control my lust?

salam, I am a 16 year old brother…I find myself unable to lower my gaze….I stare at women, girls, and even boys in public with lust, masturbate all the time, even fantasizing about boys, and rape….I sometimes watch porn, and I just want to know, how do I control my lust? salam, Mustafa


THE GOLDEN ARROW:  And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously:  yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  (Malachi 2:  13-15, KJV)


THE DOUBLE DAGGER:  The Wife of Your Youth? (12/22/2015); All Sin Is Willful? (10/20/2015); The Mistakes In Youth? (08/24/2015); Sermons About Good Sex? (08/25/2014); About Good Sermons? (08/26/2014); Pornography from the Bible (11/26/2012); More Than Salvation (11/27/2012)


“Mustafa”, as salam alekum.  When it comes to sex, no one has all the final answers; and we all must depend on some specific guiding principles.  The council a Christian father must give his son regarding a boy developing into manhood includes a number of serious warnings that help to bring balance into his thinking on, and acting out sexual desires.  As carnal beings (we say, flesh and blood), young people increasingly experience sexual arousal as they are growing up.  This is partly because of mechanical operations of their body (e.g., activity by glands; muscular growth; changes in height and weight).  As we learn and grow, we all experience sexual appetite the same way we repeatedly have hunger and thirst.  Using logic, reason, and thought, does not make hunger and thirst go away.  Humans must discipline both their body and mind to respond to appetite in ways that are healthy.  We avoid eating, or drinking any and every thing around us, because they may be poisonous or things to bring about sickness and death.  Similarly, we must limit ourselves regarding sex, and because we will be held accountable for our communication, exchanges and interactions within intimate relationships.

Sexual contact occurs on multiple levels:  the physical the  emotional, the psychological, as well as the spiritual.  Thus, sex is held to be dangerous for those who are young and unprepared.  There are always unexpected outcomes of a sex act.  This makes it that sex should be understood as unpredictable and unreliable.  Even adults who maintain the same pattern of attitudes and behavior for many years can become confused and damaged through adultery, casual sex, and extra-marital sexual relations.  Sexual intercourse may be unexplainably painful; there may be disease; there may be unwanted pregnancies; and there may be dissatisfaction with oneself and ones partner.

For those seeking to become spiritually adult, and present themselves to GOD in purity, warnings must be shared against fornication.  Just as girls and guys who think that oral sex will not do as much harm as full intercourse are mistaken, young people are mistaken who think fornication means sex before marriage, or too much sex, with too many partners (promiscuity).  With every sexual contact (be it as simple as holding hands or a kiss on the cheek—oral sex) there is a joining of spirit content for the two sexual partners.  In marriage, the two “become one flesh,” and GOD is the other.  Even so, because her spirit now is within him, and his within her, they must respond to a second spirit inside themselves, and make multiple adjustments to have contentment and inner peace.  Where the male has had sex with 10 girlfriends before marriage, his wife will be joined to at least 11 spirits.  Where his wife had relations with 8 guys, she brings 9 spirits to the marriage.  Do the math:  where the 10 girlfriends knew 8 guys each (80), and the 8 boyfriends 11 girls each (88), the total of spirits begins to number over 200 because of additional contacts among the 8 and the 11.  In some ways, both partners may be strengthened, and made to feel more capable as adults.  However, the battle is for the mind.  Conflict among the spirits of unseen partners can result in the married couple experiencing fear, despair, depression, divorce, and uncertainty that suddenly seems to come from out of nowhere.  The inborn spirit may be weakened by the unseen influences and unclean spirits.  The opposition it must face for control over combinations of spirits (say 50 to 1 or 75 to 1) could become overwhelming.

The serious bonds, connections, and habits established through our animal nature and sexuality can not be immediately broken or removed using our finite human tools  (e.g., isolating ourselves; moping; weeping; moving to a new city; trying to make new friends; exercising self-will).  Christian believers turn to GOD for rebirth and new life that is possible through Jesus Christ.  Once born again, believers must “grow up again” to become disciplined and mature as spiritual persons joined to divinity.

Mustafa, there is far more to be learned, properly understood, and correctly put into action.  Make every positive effort you can.  Through our submission to GOD, men and women should expect to acquire sacred knowledge, and undergo continued change and growth.  Even so, I trust this fragment will be useful.  Be it unto you according to the power in your spirit that connects you to GOD, your faith.


THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC