Ones duty concerning the romantic relationships of family members are the topic, today, along with more on whether Christians live by a “double standard.” The “Yahoo! Answers” writer using the ID “justwondering” (Level 2 with 806 points, a member since July 12, 2010) posted the following:
Should I show interest in the romantic life of family members?
I have two older relative (a mother and aunt) who are terrible at staying in a relationship. So every year it’s like they have a new man. I don’t know how to respond. I REALLY don’t care and don’t want to know details, but I don’t want to seem cold, so I usually ask for details about who they are dating and such. But it always feels so uncomfortable. How do you think they want me to respond. Just mind my own business or act interested in their personal life?
Additional Details
I also have a gay brother. I especially am not interested in the details of his life. But I know that creates a wall between us.
THE BATTLE AXE: Double Standard? (10/12/2012)—The Christian believer is to be “in the world,” and not “of the world.” This means, believers acknowledge common needs, interdependence and shared conditions with those who are not believers. Yet, believers stand out as spiritual persons and not products of the circumstances, environment, influences and pressures that exist around, and outside of themselves. The believer is not self-centered, self-serving or unfeeling toward others. A re-born believer holds to and applies doctrine and teachings provided by GOD through the holy writings. As a result, their behavior and conduct often is characterized as strange and unfriendly to those who do not know Christ. It remains, while in the world, believers serve Jesus who is in heaven by faith, practice, sacraments, service and studies that make the Divine Person known, and present through living deeds. As instruments of sacred purpose and vessels with the imparted, indwelling Spirit from GOD, Christian believers further cleanse and preserve mankind, and function as the “salt of the earth” (see Matthew 5: 10-16, KJV).
THE GOLDEN ARROW: My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. (Proverbs 1: 8-9, King James Version)
THE DOUBLE DAGGER: Wrong To Love? (08/17/2012); The Young Less Religious? (08/18/2012); Birth Control and Sexism? (03/16/2012); Binder 23: We Cry, Abba (10/20/2011); Monogamy? (11/29/2010); Appetite (10/14/2010)
Be encouraged. Here are some thoughts that have been shared with Christian believers that may help:
As family members, we have various levels of duty to one another that include expanding and extending the family as a unit through the relationships we may enter as individuals. Included here are adoption, marriage, and participation in fraternity and sorority commitments. Outside of the blood whereby they are bound in relationship, two structures of divine law (adoption and marriage) are the primary permanent and “unbreakable” relationships from GOD intended to provide continuous life companionship. Inheritance is made secure through blood and law. Both marriage and divorce serve as “badges” and emblems of divine authority (the two are one flesh; what GOD has joined together, let no man put asunder…). Where family members are immature, selfish or deny and are unaware of their duties, the Christian believer must be prepared to teach through example, distance, and in silence that will reduce conflict and dysfunction.
Rightly carried out, the family itself is an endowment and wealth that serves as foundation for a child’s growth and life accomplishment. Children are all accounted as being in poverty because they control no goods, income, real property or savings. With the nourishment, protection and support of ones family shared resources are available to all minor and adult members as well that should include dignity, faith, honor, loyalty, reputation, respect, and unity. Christian believers are made sons and daughters of GOD through operations of the Holy Spirit spoken of as “adoption.” The continuing ministry of Jesus Christ as Risen Lord is the believer’s embrace into the family of GOD.
Many having reached an age of accountability for emotional, sexual and spiritual choices do not acknowledge the authority of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, or the authority of older siblings as when younger. Correction of problems in attitude, behavior and conduct cannot be accomplished by simply angry displays, avoidance, commanding change, threatening punishment, or withholding affection. Even so, counsel may be shared as expression of genuine concerns, ones own needs in relationship, and personal truth. A believer may make frequent prayer requests for balance, clarity, and self-control to continue in family relationships without bias, condemnation and prejudice. However, commitment to Christ demands one be prepared to accept that, where family members insist upon opposing their faith, salvation and sacred service to GOD, there also must be a conditional separation from those who do not believe.
There is far more to be said, correctly applied, and spiritually apprehended. (For example, unlike the goals for courtship that leads to marriage, the goals for romantic relationships often center upon fantasy and the answering of ones sexual appetite. As with hunger and thirst, sexual appetite cannot be reduced and removed completely through imagination, logic, reason and other operations of the mind. Even in marriage, where ones spirit is joined to a single spirit, a conflict for inner control occurs. By fornication, the joining of ones spirit through sexual activity (as simple as holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek) one puts at risk their capacity to maintain their own identity and independence in all their relationships, including those within the family structure.) Even so, I trust this fragment will be useful. Be it unto you according to your faith.
THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC
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